My Muse

My Muse

Tuesday, July 10, 2012



Did I know? Maybe. When you love deeply you sense things others miss. I knew it with my two children and I now know it with my Labs. My Muse, Sophie.

She is why I paint Labs. She saved me from my grief of loosing my parents 6 days apart. We have ribbons from our agility trails that she hated but did for me. She waits for me to come home daily and when I come through the door she wags and smiles. I bend over and she gives me a "human" kiss hello. 

She started drooling a few days ago and seemed to be in pain. I thought it was her legs or maybe arthritis. Then she didn't want her cookie or a cheese doodle I always shared with her. Two days ago she didn't want breakfast.  That evening she ate her rice and chicken. It must be a sore tummy.

Today we went to the vets. My Muse, my Sophie, has oral cancer. She is having a biopsy in the morning to be sure. Our wildest hope is it's a terrible infection but I did see it in the back of her throat and I was horrified and knew it was something awful.

Oral cancer is fast growing and invasive and may already be in her lungs. After reading when I got home I did see that it could be from the foods they eat. The crap the big companies put in their food as fillers. 
But that insanity doesn't change that my Soph is dying.

One week? Two?  They say about 65 days. Fergus 1 year anniversary? 

Tonight the tears flow , along with the wine. I mosshed her food and gave her more than she is allowed and she devoured it. Then I chewed some cheese doodles and shared those with her. I need to be strong for her so when it's time for her to be with Fergus and Ray's Mr. Shaq, whom she adored, I'll be able to do it.

So, commissions will be done, paintings will be painted. .I just won't be chatting as much. Please just pray that I get the strength to let my girl go with the dignity she so deserves.

Warmly, Sheila


Cathi Isza said...

Ohhhh Sheila, my heart is aching, and I'm weeping with you. I could say I'm sorry which I am but the pain and anguish of losing your best friend would never be healed by words. I'm with you every step of the way and I am sorry for they are the cruel ones. Love her, hold her and enjoy every minute you have with her. I'm sending healing prayers and lighting a candle for you both.xo

Ray and the Gang said...

I heard a eulagy lately where the person speaking said the birth and passing date. Then he said the most important thing is the -- in the middle. The rest is just a start and an end. It is what we fill the -- with that is the important part. And Sophie has one of the finest -- that anybody could ever ask for. It is filled with wonderful memories, adventures and love. Those are the things I will remember.

Carole Pivarnik said...

So heartbreaking. Sending hugs and warm thoughts.

Lou Belcher said...

Love, comfort and strength as you face this. So sorry to hear.

Linda Shantz said...

I'm so sorry, Sheila, such heartbreaking news. Praying for strength and that you will be able to cherish the days you still have together.

Anonymous said...

The loss of a pet stays with you Sheila, I still think of Merlin. Prayers for you and yours.

Anonymous said...

I just found your site.Love labs.I'm so sorry to hear.I just had to put our 12 year old Brittany down.Buckets of tears-so lost without her.
Prayers for you from my heart.They are so much of family.Heal your broken heart.

Sunny One said...

I am so sorry to hear of Sophie's trouble. The inevitability of it all is overwhelming. I lost three cats to oral cancers. Two were kept going for much longer than the vet projected, one two months and one two years. I did as you do, gave food in increasingly liquid state. As long as the cats were comfortable, I felt it was OK to do this, not just for me. Once they got really uncomfortable, they took the path to the Rainbow Bridge in my arms. I pray you and Sophie will find peace in her end times.